5 Reasons I’d Never Make it as a Conservative

Photo by RDNE Stock project

Twitter is rife with stories of Democrats who switch teams. The most noteworthy being those who were elected before changing parties.

I wondered what it would take for someone to switch lanes in such a dramatic way and ran myself through a set of prerequisites to see if I could make the conservative cut.

1. I’d need to believe that somebody or some thing is always out to get me.
   > Lefties, the government, the deep state. I’d need to see a threat behind every door.
   > I’d need to be a victim.
   > It’s a fridge too far.
   >> Compatibility Rating: Fail.
2. Intense, sustained and voluminous outrage.
   > That looks like a lot of effort. Imagine how much energy it takes to shoot up a case of beer, film it, distribute it and go out on a grievance tour. I don’t have time for that. I’ve got a dishwasher to unload.
   >> Compatibility Rating: Fail.
3. It’s always somebody else’s fault.
   > Whatever it is that happens, there’s always someone to blame for it.
   > I’m kind of impatient. If I spent my life waiting for people to get out of the way, take the fall or accept responsibility for whatever happened to me, I’d be waiting a long time.
   > I failed the outrage test and looks like I’ve failed this one too. I may be too pragmatic to be a conservative. I think it’s enshrined in the conservative bylaws: Pragmatism is the enemy…